Darcy Luoma, author of Thoughtfully Fit ®, is a Master Certified Coach, dynamic facilitator, and inspiring motivational speaker. She has worked as director for a U.S. Senator, deputy transition director for a governor, and on the national advance team for two U.S. presidential campaigns.
As the owner and CEO of Darcy Luoma Coaching & Consulting, she’s worked in forty-eight industries with more than five hundred organizations to create high-performing people and teams. The media has named Darcy the region’s favorite executive-and-life coach four times. Darcy balances her thriving business with raising her two energetic teenage daughters, adventure travel, and competing in triathlons.
Who is Darcy Luoma?
Darcy spent 20 years in politics until 2013 when the US Senator that she was working for retired. That was when Darcy hired a coach to help her figure out her future and she was asked the one question that changed everything for her. Darcy’s coach asked her “If in 10 years you looked back at this moment in time and the decision you are about to make, and you had no regrets, what would you do?”
There were lots of obstacles in the way, mostly in Darcy’s mind, but she worked through them and took the leap to start her own coaching and consulting company and 9 years later Darcy has no regrets, so it definitely worked out.
The Six Hurdles Everyone Faces: Internal
In her work, Darcy noticed that every client that came to her came with the same basic problems, and this led to Darcy codifying them into six primary hurdles that everyone faces.
The first internal obstacle is overwhelm. This aligns with the thoughtful fit practice of stillness, you have to rest your mind.
The second internal obstacle is in the practice of strength. You have to be able to self manage the ever present annoyances that come with life and choose how you show up in your world.
The third obstacle is feeling stuck. To overcome this feeling of being stuck a person needs to practice mental endurance and a growth mindset, so that they can grow themselves out of the situation.
Internally, if you are thoughtfully fit your relationships will be easier, you’re less likely to have conflict, and will be more able to overcome obstacles. The three steps to develop thoughtful fitness are: Pause, Think, Act.
In order to develop the discipline to pause before reacting, you need to practice. There are hurdles in every area of your life to practice taking a pause and breath, and choose how you want to show up in that moment. You don’t have to let sabotaging thoughts lead to a sabotaging action. If you look for opportunities to practice, you will find them all over the place.
When you can be intentional and recognize what triggers you, you can set the boundaries you need to be able to continue to thrive.
The Six Hurdles Everyone Faces: External
The first external hurdle is putting energy into having someone else behaving differently so that you can be happy. This relates to the practice of flexibility and being able to stretch and accept others as they are, so that you stop being angry with who they are.
The second hurdle is in relationships that aren’t equally aligned. This relates to the practice of balance and keeping your relationships sustainable for the long term and where everyone involved wins.
The third external hurdle happens when you’re blindsided. It requires agility to be able to respond thoughtfully in the moment instead of a knee jerk reaction that makes the situation worse.
Darcy’s framework comes out of thousands of hours of research and categorization. It’s built around the six primary hurdles and centered around the three step practice of Pause, Think, and Act. No matter which issue you are struggling with, the core practice will still help you solve your problems.
Within Darcy’s book, there are strategies that you can apply to particular problems and go deeper into the hurdles you struggle with most. For example, with people that score high on compassion and empathy, there are different ways of saying no that still set healthy boundaries without being cold. Especially when the things you are being asked to do are good things, there are other good ways to address the request without flat out refusing.
Conflict and Toxic Relationships
When you let conflict fester in a relationship it becomes toxic. When a relationship becomes toxic, that’s when you start to see blaming, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. If you can’t get courageous, curious, and compassionate in your relationship it will go downhill.
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