Life, work and leadership requires mental and physical courage to do the difficult things and leveraging the wins and losses. I chat with James Heppner to show us how to embrace all in life (wins, losses and the uncomfortable). You’ll discover why empathy is key and how to lean into discomfort to revolutionize your way of living.
Who Is James Heppner?
James is an International Speaker, Strategic Results Coach and founder of Weekly Wins and Losses podcast and the Weekly Global Community Call. He helps people in their journey to embrace all of life – both wins and losses equally. James helps you firmly establish the mental and physical courage needed to do difficult things while guiding you to activate your ability to leverage the good news that lies at the heart of both a win…. AND A LOSS. People from around the world find James when their way of handling losses just no longer works, and when leaving 50% of life on the table is no longer an option.
Empathy Starts with You
Empathy is the act of putting yourself in the shoes of another, seeing through their pain, and showing that you understand. Self-empathy is the same. It’s really about listening to yourself and connecting with what keeps you going. James also adds that self-empathy is the first step to having empathy for others. Unfortunately, most people don’t practice self-empathy because they mistake it for self-pity. But here’s the thing; empathy is not weakness. Having empathy for yourself allows you to experience whatever you’re experiencing and acknowledge that you’re worthy of compassion. So, the next time you feel unworthy, start by being present with yourself and monitor your internal dialogue, states, and emotions as they occur.
How Leaning Into Discomfort Can Revolutionize Your Way of Living
How do you handle uncomfortable situations? If you’re like most people, you tend to avoid things that make you uncomfortable. Yet the reality is that every action can create discomfort. Life isn’t a straight line; it’s full of tough situations that all the body wants to do is run away. And the reason for all this comes down to one primitive thing – survival. As James explains, humans have evolved for survival. The minute there’s a threat on the horizon, whether it’s anxiety, death, fear, or whatever, the brain automatically switches to survival mode.
Yes, survival mode is good because it keeps us safe. But to live a life full of opportunities, we need discomfort and vulnerability. Your brain might want to sidestep the discomfort, but the best way to overcome hardship is to sit in the discomfort. Don’t ignore it. Discomfort can be an amazing teacher. In fact, it’s almost impossible to grow without discomfort. James’ PAIN (Please Accept Inner Nudgings) is a perfect framework for living your life and rising above the pain. To overcome hardships, you need to embrace the pain, acknowledge the inner nudging, and eventually, you’ll be able to push through.
Learn to Embrace Your Fears
If you think about it, there are only a few things in this world to be truly afraid of. So, why do we constantly live in fear? Well, the human brain is programmed for survival. In our caveman days, the ability to detect dangerous animals or hostile environments kept us alive. Although today’s world is much safer, how the brain works hasn’t changed much. That’s why people can still be affected by negative news and have trouble embracing their fears. James believes the goal is not to eliminate fear from our lives because fear is a part of who we are. Being afraid of the fear is what you want to eliminate because the fear of pain is worse than the pain itself. So, if you can overcome the fear of pain, the pain you feel won’t be as bad as you initially thought it would be.
Why Losing Can Be a Good Thing
We all live a life hoping for the best. We all crave success, so we work hard and do the right things, hoping we’ll eventually come out on top. And while winning makes us feel good, it doesn’t force us to improve and self-reflect. This is why James feels losing can be a good thing because when you’re always winning, you never learn anything. And we need that dose of reality sometimes. We need to be constantly reminded that there is room for improvement and that we can always be better than we currently are. The next time you lose, sit down with it, embrace it, and mourn if you have to, but never throw in the towel. Losing can bring opportunities you never thought existed; remember, some doors need to be closed for others to open.